Bachelor, another week, again, ugh

I actually saw this week's episode on time. So in case you missed it, here's the scoop. First, Ben takes Lindzi on a one-on-one. I like Lindzi, but this date was really awkward. And every time she is on camera, she seems like she might be a little drunk. They jump off a helicopter into the ocean. Did I mention Lindzi is afraid of heights? He never seems to run out of ways to torture the women. Then, they catch their own lobsters for dinner, which strangely do not have pinchers. After eating their dinner that was alive a few moments ago, Ben tells Lindzi they are going to write a love note and put it in a bottle and throw it in the ocean. The whole thing was really awkward. It wasn't romantic at all.

Back at the hotel, Courtney says that she needs to be appreciated and she is feeling neglected. She actually whines to all the other women about it. And the craziest part is that they all sit there and listen! For as much as these women hate her, why do they hang out in the same room as her and listen to her?! You are in Belize! There has to be a million better things to do! Pick one! Courtney says that if Ben does not give her a one-on-one, she will not accept the rose he gives her. Yes, she assumes she will get a rose. I doubt anyone believes that she would decline a rose. No rose = going home. The last thing Courtney wants is less time on camera. I guess she thinks she can decline a rose, and he will convince her to stay, and the whole thing will just provide more camera time for her. As if on cue, a date card arrives for Courtney. She says that he listens because she was not very happy with him for leaving her there in the hotel room with all the other girls. As she leaves for her date with Ben, she yells to the girls, "Bye! I can't stand you all!" Then, during her date, she tells Ben that he shouldn't have gone on a date with Emily (which I left out because it was so boring) because he knows how Emily has treated her. Seriously?!?! Where does she come up with this stuff?? Then she proceeds to say that she has tried 100% to really get to know the girls but they are mean to her and are shallow. I think she is confusing them with herself. Ben asks if she has any friends at home and she says "I have a lot of good friends" then actually says that they are all guys, and although Ben makes a face to this, he quickly forgets the huge red flag above her head. Dummy. I actually kind of want him to meet her family. I wonder what they are like. I imagine her dad to be something like Hitler. And her mom to be something like Joan Rivers...but taller, and with bigger shoulders.

My favorite part of this episode is when Ben admits that he's a weird guy. That's the only thing he's said that most viewers would agree with. Wait, I change my mind. My favorite part is Courtney's face when Emily says that they have created great friendships while being there. In case you missed it, it looked like this.

Except it was actually worse, if you can believe it. I couldn't find the actual picture though, so this one serves the purpose. For a model, this girl really has no face control. She makes a lot of ugly faces. She probably has more ugly faces than the number of times Ben has ever had a haircut.

So Ben takes Rachel, Kacie, and Nicki to swim with sharks on a group date. How romantic. (eye roll) Kacie and Nicki are super excited, but Rachel, naturally, is scared to death. She comments that she is afraid of lakes because they might have sharks in them. Really?? So she won't get in the water until Ben promises that the sharks will not eat her. I really hope he cleared that up before telling her that because if he's wrong, she's going to be pretty disappointed. Or paraplegic.

So Ben declines seeing the girls before the rose ceremony because he already knows what he wants to do. He sends home Emily and Rachel (after wasting the whole shark swim with her and not paying attention to the other two girls there). Kacie got a rose after the shark swim, so next week, Ben will meet her parents. He also gives a rose to Nicki- did anyone see this coming?? Not me. He has barely talked to her since the show started. Have they even been on one date?? He also gives a rose to Courtney and Lindzi. So, yet another week rolls around where Ben still has not realized Courtney's evilness. This is beyond ridiculous.

So who does he pick? That's a question even Siri can't answer.

This is all too much for Courtney to handle.

Or perhaps it's the wine she is constantly drinking... Haven't they run out of alcohol by now?!?!