Sorry Sean

I stopped writing about The Bachelorette once Emily sent Sean home. After that, I stopped caring. I don't think the girl would know what was best for her if it hit her in the face. So, sorry if you read my little recaps and was disappointed to see my lack of sarcastic comments. I just didn't care anymore.

But, Sean is better off in the long run. I think he will find someone who is better for him. I can see the two of them disagreeing on serious things. Like, plastic surgery. I can't see him approving of that.

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Just sayin'. Happy Friday, ya'll!

The Bachelorette Goes to Prague

For this episode, the crew goes to Prague. On Arie's date, Emily wears metallic hot pants despite it being cold enough to see Chris Harrison's breath. (In case you are a guy reading this: hot pants = really short shorts). During her date with Arie, she reveals that she now knows Arie dated the producer of the show. She doesn't say how she found out though. Then, Chris Harrison gives a super cheesy monologue. In this, he reveals that the producer told Emily, "once she saw that things were getting serious." Then they show what they refer to as an "interview," but is really just a candid conversation where Emily confides in the producer. Afterwards, Arie makes a fool out of himself by continuing on and on about being incredibly open and honest. He fails to be open and honest about knowing the producer, though, much less having dated her. The whole time, I couldn't help but notice that Arie is getting more and more grey hair as each day passes.

The cameras skipped filming the rest of the date. Chris Harrison explains that Cassie, the producer, Arie, and Emily discussed the situation in private and now all parties are A-Ok with the situation. They cut to Arie and Emily at dinner at night. She apologizes to him for not giving him the benefit of the doubt. They watch a fireworks show from on top of a moving tourist boat which is full of people. Yes, they are sitting on the roof of the boat, directly above other people seated on the boat. Strange.

Back at the hotel, they show the rest of the guys sweating it out. A scene reveals that the guy with a pomerianian for hair has an arm tattoo. I'm pretty sure it says "Ragin'." I guess when you are twelve, that is the coolest word you know. The only appeal for this guy is that he is child-like, and Emily has already made it clear that she is desperately yearning for a whole schoolbus full of children. I think she just sees him as the fastest way to gain another child.

Later, Emily and John go on a date. They are supposed to symbolize their "love" by locking a padlock around a fence. Unfortunately for them, Chris Harrison gives them a defective lock. John reveals that his "tough shell" is caused by his ex-girlfriend cheating on him right after their one year anniversary. Emily feels sorry for him, so he is in the running to possibly get a rose. At the end of the date, Emily walks him home and drops him off. Sean realizes that means she is nearby and on foot, so he runs through the streets of Prague, shouting Emily's name. I know plenty of women who wish Sean would roam the streets of Prague searching for them. Emily seems to appreciate it, claiming that her face hurts from smiling so much once he finds her. Then they make out, quite intensely, for a while. I read somewhere that Sean is a State Farm Insurance salesman. I would imagine they saw a jump in sales due to this show. Again, I know several women who would gladly and immediately switch their insurance for the chance to meet him.

The next day is the group date with Sean, Chris, and Doug. Emily shivers the whole time, despite actually wearing pants on this date. She starts to tell Doug goodbye in the middle of their date and he kisses her mid-sentence, she says thank you, and he responds "yep." Ummm.....Awkward. She finishes telling him goodbye and he starts crying. The poor guy will probably never kiss a girl again. He already had to overcome fear to kiss her, then she immediately sends him home, and the most awkward situation in the history of both The Bachelor and The Bachelorette airs to haunt him. After Doug is humiliated, Emily returns to give Sean a rose. Everybody saw this coming, right?

Later, Emily and Jef go on a date. She wears these weird, fringe boots that look like Clydsdale hooves. Seriously, check for yourself.

                                                           Emily:

                                                       Clydesdale:

                                                                                via Chest of Books

Emily:

Clydesdale:

See what I mean?

Jef is shy around Emily, but they buy some puppets and Jef finds it to be a way that he can openly communicate with her. He reveals that his parents will not meet her next week on the hometown date, because they have a commitment in South Carolina. Wait, what? That sounds really shady. What parents are not home when their son brings home a girl to meet them. He plans on marrying her and starting a family "yesterday." Makes me wonder if his parents are in the CIA or something. Again, I think the whole appeal to Jef is that she is yearning for more children, and he basically, is a child. He can't say a complete sentence without saying "like" at least four times. I have a suspicion that Emily might know this. That's why Arie got hot pants and Jef got horse shoes. Let's face it, Arie and Sean are really the only two she wants in the end. If Jef hadn't played what she thought was "hard to get," she wouldn't have even given him a chance. (Really, he is just shy around her.)

At the rose ceremony, she wears a dress that resembles a blue trash bag. She is such a cute girl. She needs to work on picking out cute clothes. Her terrible choices distracted me from what was actually happening on the show. I will see if I can scrounge up a picture...

Good Decision, Emily

I was trying very hard not to post about the Bachelorette, but after this episode, I just can't help it. I have to cheer for Emily for sending Ryan home. The fact that he shaves Cobra fangs into his facial hair is reason enough to send him home.

Seriously, am I right, or am I right:

Also, what was up with those shoes he was wearing?

(Okay, so those are not actually his, but are pretty close.) He told her he wanted a woman who makes logical decisions, not decisions based on emotion. Well, that's exactly what she did when she sent him home. You got what you asked for, Ryan. During his monologue in the car, he asked the editors to please portray the real him and not "an arrogant ass." Why so worried, Ryan? If that's not who you are, they wouldn't have any material to be able to portray you that way.

Somebody please tell me what is up with boys and hoods? When they are all waiting inside their hotel room, half the boys had hoods on. Hood or not, I give points to Arie for sneaking out to go see Emily after she sent Ryan home. Way to step up. I just wonder how he knew where she was staying. Did you film crew show him? If so, he's really not sneaking out like they claimed he was. Obviously not everything on this show is real, but it baffles me how they leave stuff out like that and expect no one to notice.

Yes, Emily, that's how Ryan makes us all feel

When Emily spoke to Doug, she had to put his arm on her waist and tell him what to say. He still didn't get it. Instead of finally kissing her for the first time, he starts crying again. Poor Doug. He just can't stop crying. 


During the rose ceremony, Emily panics and runs out of the room without saying anything. She is just too conflicted with having to send home a guy who has only spoken to her once and a guy who reminds me of Doug the cartoon.

                       via TV, Food, and Drink

She runs to find Chris Harrison in a dark corner, flirting with a woman who smartly slips away when Emily and Chris began talking. I think she does this to avoid being caught on camera with Chris. I thought the final guys would be Arie, Sean, and maybe Chris. I just couldn't figure out how she could send home Sean, who is a soft spoken, strong Christian man, or Arie, who she can't stop making out passionately with. On this episode, they answered that question for me. They reveal that Arie was dating one of the producers. And so the mystery lady Chris was hiding in the dark with is revealed. So, apparently, Chris and this lady were not flirting, but, rather, discussing how to play up the drama of she and Arie dating. Now I think Emily will pick Sean. I mean, really, he has no competition. I don't even find the guy physically attractive, and I can say that he has no competition.

The reason why I tried not to post about this season of The Bachelorette is that I thought they did a horrible job picking guys for Emily. I did not think a single one of them was attractive. Not a one. Okay, so I may be picky, or as Sean puts it, selective. Most people use the word picky as in they only date the good looking, fun, and popular. I do not believe that is what Sean means. I believe he means it as not 'Is this person good enough for me?," but "Is this the type of person I want representing me?" I could be wrong, because my definition of picky is also different than most, but I believe his faith leads all his decisions, especially who to date. With those guidelines, let's be honest, and a little frank, that rules out most of the population. Seriously, Chris doesn't know the difference between a donkey and a horse. Jef looks like he has a Pomeranian on his head. Ryan wears blue suede shoes, shaves fangs into his facial hair, and wears shirts like this:

One guy reminds me of Marv from Home Alone. One guy goes by 'Wolf,' and another has Louis Vuitton luggage and wears glasses with no lenses in them. Really, producers? This is what you think should be Emily's soulmate? That female producer must still have feelings for Arie.

Poor Travis, I like him. He seems like such a fun, down-to-earth, genuine guy. I'm sad she sent him home. He hasn't even dated in two years since his heart was broken. No wonder he thought bringing an egg was a good idea. And he thought he should comb his hair into a faux-hawk. I think he should be the next Bachelor. He seems like he deserves that chance.